She this...
She that...
She all perfect
She not perfect
It seems to give me a
headache
Yes, I know character
matters
I am working at it
Yes I know virtue
matters
He is working on that
What does the finished
product look like?
I don’t know cos I am
still headed there
What does God want?
I don’t know yet cos
so many voices
So many opinions
Seems like deja vu all
over again
I don’t know it all
But I will know what
matters when the time is right
Right now I just need
to slide out from under the weight of everyone’s expectations
And to rise up
I am awake and alert
and I guess the series of circumstances that brought me to this place are of
His making
It is all good, it is
a good place rather
It is like old times
again
Golden girl, she will
do everyone proud
Can I just do me
proud?
Can I just do God
proud?
Cos I will never
succeed at doing everyone proud
The list of
expectations is different for each person
I don’t do very well
under pressure or scrutiny for that matter
Scrutiny is at best
fault finding, at worst, love, no I don’t think so
It doesn’t really
matter anyway; I wonder why I cared so much instead of just letting go
I am learning but
really only One person’s expectations matter
Cos for everyone else
it is always changing
I refuse to be on any
one’s pedestal because it is just a replay of the heroes past
They place you on a
pedestal only to bring you crashing on a whim
You are only just a
chess piece most times in the games humans play
Cos no matter how much
we deny it, our humanity gets the better of us a lot of times
In the eyes of God
though, you are one and only, apple of His eyes
He won’t change His
mind tomorrow on a whim and caprice, He is that constant
It took me a while to
get it but I do now, I truly do
Just want to be me,
don’t want to be anyone’s mirror image
I want to be the ‘me’ God sees when He looks at me.
I know of eternal
life, I have perceived it
Still in spite of the
new creation that I am
When I place my arm on
my hand or my head, what I feel is very human
Yet eternity is just
as tangible; as least to me
God is just as real to
me so when all is said and done I run to your throne and say
‘Why on earth won’t you speak to me, to my heart?’
You have no answer for
me but in the stillness of the day I place my hand on my heart
And you are there.
It is no poetry either
I wonder, what does all of this mean? I hate not being in
control
At least I like to
imagine that I control some things, lol!
At least the Most High
the sovereign One is innately good and in that I find safety
The heart of men, hmmm
Only Jesus knows jare
The rest of us, we are safe in His hands
O what wretched souls
that we can be when we don’t consider Him
I would be lost
without Him but gratefully I am not
I am safe and secure
in Him!
I am learning to be
silent again and in the midst of the silence to listen...
I am certain that this
is my path though and since it is, it must mean that I have all that I need to
walk in it because He always provides, of that I am sure
He’s a provider after
all and He’s promised that I will never lack any good thing.
So it seems that
sounds like faith, tis a good place
You’re the leader O
Lord, I am tired of wrestling with You, can I just rest in You?
Let me know which
steps to take and I will do them by Your grace
#InwardWitness
This is not a poem,
tis just thoughts
No comments:
Post a Comment