I got used to insults one time in my life.
Then I got tired and decided that an unbeliever can insult me but not an unbeliever.
Then I said no.
Unbeliever men can't insult me and neither can supposed believer men.
Now I think there are good men and bad men.
I don't think there is much difference between men who are believers and men who are unbelievers.
Now I am just tired.
Of rada rada.
Not taking it.
No more insults.
I have set my boundaries.
Anyone who insults me is out. Believer or unbeliever.
I made this decision after an American preacher (not known) told me "I am one of those women who will have to buy a dog or cat because I won't have anyone to marry me."
I was hurt.
I was embarrassed.
I was experiencing something I cannot put into words.
These three words describe it better.
- To decry
- To depreciate
- To disparage.
This man who I don't even know if he really exists used nasty words on me because I was a woman.
He was not even right.
He was wrong, and insulting me even though he was wrong.
I felt bad but did not shift my beliefs.
My opinion on marriage has not changed.
"I will not lack my mate."
I also won't marry a man just to have a mate.
I won't even marry just a churchgoer who has no fruit of the spirit and thinks he's God's gift to women.
I would rather marry a man who is not churchy but has some fruit of the Spirit to write home about.
A man is not better than a woman because he's married or unmarried.
I am not impressed by a man who spends 24 hours in church and yet has borne no fruit in his life.
- No kindness
- No love
- No joy
- No peace
- No patience
- No long-suffering
- No faith
- No goodness
- No self-control
Every believer needs some fruit. Even if not all.
Some of the attributes of Holy Spirit must be present.
The right kind of marriage is one where the man and the woman recognize themselves as bringing value to each other.
In Africa, it is so tiring trying to help people see that men bring value and women do too.
I blocked the dude o.
You can't be uncouth and also have the fruit of the Spirit. That kind of conversation he had with me where he had to try to degrade and demean me was unchristlike.
He probably thought he was having a misunderstanding with someone and had to play dirty to win an argument.
Me that I don't like winning arguments.
I literally don't care about arguments.
I made a comment on his Facebook profile. He was wrong theologically.
He said God is the C-In-C of earthquakes, tornadoes, and whatnots, bad stuff.
I have been born again long enough to know that God is not the author of evil.
What I had never seen was a grown-up exchanging words with me and insulting me because he was wrong about the bible.
He was thrashing me in my inbox with many nasty words. I was watching a movie and I did not want to interrupt my movie to respond in my inbox.
Then he took it to my Facebook profile claiming I was trolling him.
I was thinking, Am I dealing with Mel Gibson or John Travolta?
He's not famous now.
When I got to the comment, I responded and then I thought, why should give him the pleasure of insulting me because he thinks he's right?
I blocked the nigga.
I blocked mutual friends and continued.
I felt ashamed.
I processed the thought and figured, I should not be feeling shame.
It is the bully who claims to be following Jesus who should be feeling shame.
So I chose to share the story here so I would never forget it and so that I can say this aloud.
"If I never get married, it would be an honor to grow old to the age of 120 and glorify the Lord with my life. It would be my pleasure."
Not everyone gets this privilege.
I could never be sad about growing old and fulfilling God's purpose for my life.
If I did not have any references in the bible I would still think this way.
But there are...
“And there was a prophetess, Anna” (Luke 2:36, 37 ESV).
Anna
There was Anna the prophetess who saw Jesus' birth. She lost her husband at a young age and lived in the temple praying day and night for the coming of the Lord. She was a widow until the age of 84. Maybe she had a dog and a cat.
The widow of Zarephat
She was the woman who took care of Elijah. She had only her son. There was a famine and she had a small cake and some oil and agreed to share it with the prophet.
Mary Magdalene was known for her Christian devotion. She followed Jesus closely when He was on earth. When he ascended into heaven she carried on the Great Commission with the disciples. I bet she did signs, wonders, and miracles and also preached the gospel all the days of her life.
In her time.
They were the sisters of Lazarus. They were friends of Jesus who acknowledged the fact that He was the son of God. Their brother was raised up from death. I can imagine the number of people who asked them to tell the story again and again of how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.
They were a part of the people who worked and walked with Jesus.
She was an early disciple of Jesus who lived in Joppa (today's Tel Aviv). She was known for her good works and acts of charity. She was always giving to the needy. When she died, Peter raised her from the dead.
She was from Thyatira but lived in Phillipi and sold clothes. She supported Paul's missionary journey. Although it was a town where there was likely no synagogue, she gathered with many women at a place of prayer near a river outside Phillipi. She was the first recorded saved person in Europe. Although she was originally from Asia Minor.
Acts 16:6-10
Two women left Moab for Israel. They did not have the covering of a husband or father but God took care of them. Ruth categorically stated that Naomi's God would be her God. God took note of that.
So what am I saying?
Don't let insults stop you.
Don't let people preaching the wrong doctrine make you cower and accept a lie about God simply because you are a woman.
Do your due diligence as it concerns God's word.
If God sees it fit to bring you a good man, marry.
If a man that will treat you well and allow God to direct his dealing with you does not come, do not.
Buy a dog and a cat.
Give glory to the Lord.
Long life is a blessing. It is for the righteous.
It is an irrevocable inheritance through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
Deuteronomy 5:33 – Ye shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and [that it may be] well with you, and [that] ye may prolong [your] days in the land which ye shall possess.
Psalm 91:16, "With long life, I will satisfy you and show you my salvation." God has called us to live long and healthy lives!
Proverbs 3:16 Length of days is in her right hand; And in her left hand riches and honor. (A blessing of the wisdom of God).
Exodus 23:26 No woman in your land will miscarry or be barren; I will fulfill the number of your days.
25 So you shall serve the LORD your God, and He will bless your bread and your water. And I will take away sickness from among you.
26 No woman in your land will miscarry or be barren; I will fulfill the number of your days.
27 I will send My terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter. I will make all your enemies turn and run
Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. "To whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?
Jeremiah 30: 20-21 20 “This is what the LORD says: If you can break My covenant with the day and My covenant with the night, so that day and night cease to occupy their appointed time,
21 then My covenant may also be broken with David My servant and with My ministers the Levites who are priests...
So it is an honor, even a privilege to grow old and have a dog and a cat.
It is an honor to live life to the glory of God.
What a covenant!
What a God!
What a privilege to be called His own.
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